Camera Shy on Your Wedding Day? Read This First

By Carla Ten Eyck | Connecticut Wedding Photographer | carlateneyck.com

If you’re camera shy and genuinely nervous about taking your wedding photos — or just convinced you’re not photogenic — you’re not alone. I hear this from almost every single couple I meet.

Let me guess. You already have a specific memory. An ID photo that’s haunted you for years. A family portrait where you looked nothing like yourself. A candid someone tagged you in that made you want to throw your phone in the toilet.

And now you’re planning a wedding… which means there’s going to be a photographer following you around allll day on one of the most emotionally charged days of your life. 

Stressed yet?

Here’s what I want to tell you after 25 years of photographing weddings in Connecticut and beyond:

My camera-shy wedding couples who tell me they hate having their photo taken almost always give me my favorite images of the year.

Not because I have some magical ability to fix “unphotogenic” people. To be honest, there’s no such thing as an unphotogenic person. In my experience, camera-shy wedding couples are usually introverted and deeply uncomfortable performing — and something real happens when you stop performing. When you just… exist with your person. THAT’S the image right there.

This post? It’s for YOU, my introverted wedding couple baddies.The one already dreading the ‘posed’ portraits.(don’t even get me started on the word ‘posed’) You just want to look like you on your wedding day.

What Camera-Shy Wedding Couples in Connecticut Actually Look Like

The majority of the couples that hire me are introverted. Camera-shy! Deeply uncomfortable with the idea of being the center of attention for a few hours let alone an entire day!

What they all have in common: they don’t want forced posed photos. They don’t want to stand somewhere random and look at each other on command. They want to look like the most relaxed version of themselves in images that feel like a real moment rather than a staged recreation of one.

Well goody for us, that’s exactly the vibe I aim for!

My work is built around candids, movement, and gently prompted interaction. I don’t just tell people where to put their hands. I give them something to do:

• Walk slowly toward me
• Whisper something in your partner’s ear
• Just stand there and take a breath, relax your shoulders….yesssss!

You don’t need to know how to pose. You just need a photographer who knows how to observe and be ready to create some natural wedding photos.

How We Work Together — Because It’s a Collaboration

Getting great photos on your wedding day isn’t entirely my responsibility. It’s not entirely yours either! It’s something we build together, starting long before your wedding day arrives.

Here’s what you should expect:

The Pre-Wedding Zoom Call

Before we work together in person, we talk. Not a quick email exchange — an actual Zoom conversation where I get to know you, understand what makes you uncomfortable and maybe even more importantly what makes you comfortable- and walk you through exactly what your wedding day might look like from my perspective.

By the time I show up with a camera, you already know me. I’ll feel like your favorite Auntie walking in the door! Comfort with a photographer isn’t something that happens automatically on the day — it’s something we build together, in advance. 

This is how we can start building that:

I Encourage You to Share Some Inspiration

Gone are the days where my clients would show up with an entire Pinterest board filled with photos they wanted me to copy exactly. (good riddance, I say!) These days I actually insist that my couples share a few photos that they love, whether it’s photos that I have taken or not. I think it’s really fun to teach my clients to really understand what it is they love about a photo- whether it’s the vibe, the movement, the color, the composition or how the couple is posed! I see it as a challenge to see something and find a way for us to collaborate and really make it our own.

The Engagement Session

If you’re super camera-shy, an engagement session isn’t optional. It’s essential.

I’ve actually turned down weddings with couples who were deeply uncomfortable being photographed and refused to do an engagement session first. In my professional opinion, I wouldn’t feel right showing up to photograph someone’s wedding without that foundation already in place.

Here’s why it matters so much: the engagement session is where we practice. Where you discover you’re not as bad at this as you thought. Where I learn how you move, how you interact with your partner, what kinds of prompts make you laugh versus freeze up.

Couples who do an engagement session with me before their wedding day are visibly more relaxed in their wedding portraits. 

It’s not because they’ve learned to pose. It’s because they’ve already done the thing they were most afraid of — and it wasn’t just fine. It was so much fun!

“Ten stars!! Twenty stars!!! We hired Carla for our 4/15/23 wedding at Lord Thompson Manor. From the first Zoom call, we loved her warm and bubbly energy. We did our engagement photos with her in August 2022, which was a great chance to get to know her and to practice getting our photos taken (we are not comfortable camera subjects)! During our session Carla was a joy; she is constantly looking for unusual backdrops, gorgeous pockets of light, and those little moments that capture the nature of a relationship. We were so pleased with our engagement photos! “

Prompts Instead of Poses

I don’t pose people, I give prompts. There’s a really BIG difference!

A pose is a static instruction: stand here, put your hand there, tilt your chin. It produces images that look exactly like what they are — two people dutifully following instructions.

A prompt is an invitation to do something: walk slowly toward the water, bump your hip into each other, whisper something silly, just hold each other and breathe for a minute. Doing things like this creates photos that look like real life because they are real life!

I never ask you to perform. I create a situation in which something genuine can happen — and then I’m ready for it.

Walking You Through the Day in Advance

One of the biggest sources of anxiety for camera-shy people is not knowing what to expect. The unexpected moment — a camera appearing during a quiet moment, being asked to stop what you’re doing for a portrait — is what can make people freeze up.

When we meet I explain the vibe you can expect at your wedding with me there. I’m like your favorite Aunt who’s really good at taking photos! You’re comfy with me being there, observing, knowing when to turn my camera on silent and step back and let those tender moments unfold without my interference. Or maybe there needs more direction or planning, I have lots of bandwidth to know what the situation calls for!  The more you know, the more relaxed you are. And as I always say- the more comfortable you are, the better your photos will be!

Practical Things You Can Do to Help Yourself

Beyond what I bring to the process, there are things that you can do that can make a really big difference.

Tell me what you’re actually worried about — specifically. Don’t just say you’re camera shy. Tell me what that means for you. Are you self-conscious about a specific feature? Do you have a preferred side? Do you freeze when someone tells you to smile? The more specific you are, the better I can work around whatever’s making you uncomfortable.

Do the engagement session. I know I already said this. I’m saying it again because it’s the single most effective thing you can do if you hate having your photo taken. Do the session. It will change everything!

Stay hydrated and eat UP on your wedding day. This sounds unrelated, but it’s totally not!  Low blood sugar and dehydration can make everything harder, literally for no reason — including being present and relaxed in front of a camera. Take care of your body and the rest takes care of itself.

Choose your portrait time wisely. Some couples want to schedule their portraits at the most stressful moment of the day — right after the ceremony when everyone wants to congratulate them and they haven’t eaten since breakfast! I say a hearty ‘no thanks’ to that!  If you’re already anxious about photos, don’t make it harder on yourself. But never fear- we can build a timeline that can scatter your portrait time when you’re most relaxed and settled throughout the day!

What Happens When You Stop Trying

There’s always a moment in a session — usually about twenty minutes in — where a camera-shy person stops trying to look good for the camera and just forgets I’m even there with it!

Sometimes it happens because they’re laughing. Sometimes because they’re looking at their partner and are just completely absorbed in the moment! 

You don’t need to get to your wedding day having solved your relationship with being photographed. Girl, I am not a professional therapist! You just need to show up and trust me.  I’ll handle the rest — and together, we’ll create something you’ll love!

Ready to Talk About Your Wedding?

If you recognized yourself anywhere in this post, I’d love to hear from you! Girl, I see you! Tell me about your wedding, your venue, your people, and your complicated feelings about cameras. We’ll figure out the rest together.

Camera shy wedding couples in Connecticut are kind of my jam!

Inquire about your wedding date at carlateneyck.com/contact — very limited 2026 and lots of 2027 dates available!

To see more work check out my engagement and wedding galleries!